Update: How To Celebrate the NBA Draft, Responsibly

The lottery feels like it’s completely out of your hands. Your team’s fate lies with the ping pong balls. FALSE.

Update: The lottery has come and gone, whether you liked it (Lakers fans) or not (Knicks fans). Now it’s the real deal. DRAFT DAY. 

That being said, this post about what to drink during the lottery probably applies even better to the draft itself. So, I’ve made the necessary adjustments to the content, but the point remains the same. If you want your guy, put your mouth where your mouth is. 

Last year, the big prize was Andrew Wiggins. On lottery night, that meant #SwigginForWiggins (drinking liquor from the bottle). Now, given that the lottery was on a weeknight, I bailed on this ritual. And the Sixers got burned.

So on draft night, I took to Pat’s Steaks, looking for more luck.

Again, this didn’t work, but it may have secretly just been #MeatAndCheese4JoelEmbiid. That happens sometimes.  Happened again during the NFL Draft this year.

My attempt at using Mariota’s home town brew turned out to be a #Longboard4Agholor. Your good luck hashtag movement takes on a life of it’s own. Hindsight is 20/20.

So this year, there is a collection of talented players at the top of the draft. Each fan and scout has their own favorite, and you’re no exception. For your draft watching needs, here are the official Palestra Back recommended drinking rituals to observe that will result in your team grabbing your favorite player. Before Adam Silver starts announcing picks, run out and stock up on the necessary libations. And do so in moderation!

(Editor’s Note: Friend of the Blog/Somewhat Frequent Contributor Stan certainly helped with what you see below. Some of the best ideas come from him. Follow him on Twitter and tell him he did a good job. Another friend of the blog, who is a sad, sorry Knicks fan who will be contributing leading up to the draft also helped out with this list.)

The Top Tier

For D’Angelo Russell:

hinkie russell

#ModeloForDangelo (This is what I’ll be doing.)

#HangoverToBringDangOver (Drink of choice, but enough to curse yourself the next morning. Champagne, gin, and IPAs are recommended.)

#GeloShots (In Buckeye/Sixers red, also known as cherry)

#Guzzle4Russell (Only drink in chug form all night long)

For Karl-Anthony Towns:

kat kat

#CrownsForTowns (Crown Royal or Budweiser)

#BrownForTowns (Whiskey)

#KarlTownsHandMeDowns (Only drink “wounded soldiers”, gotta be dedicated for this one)

#Pabst4KAT  (PBR!)

For Emmanuel Mudiay:

moody

#FruityForMoody (fruity beer/drinks)

#Samuel4Emmanuel (Sam Adams)

#Chardonnay4Mudiay

For Jahlil Okafor:

okes

#RumAndCokeAForOkafor

The next two suggestions are only for Palestra Back readers in Colorado and Washington. Stop reading if you live anywhere else.

#SmokeForOke #Tokes4Okes

The Second Tier

For Justice Winslow:

Justise-Winslow-Duke-Pass

#Merlot4Winslow

#JustICEforJustice (Smirnoff Ice!)

For Kristaps Porzingis:

KristapsPorzingis

#FromTheTaps4Kristaps (Go to a bar!)

#PourYeungs4Porzings (Yeungling, baby)

For Willie Cauley-Stein:

WCS

#WillieCauleyBeerStein (Sometimes the container trumps the drink)

#BoxOfWineCauleyStein

#LASTCALLeyStein (Your favorite beer  to drink at 2AM. Really open to interpretation.)

For Mario Hezonja 

mario-hezonja-nba

 #Bologna4Hezonja (That’s all I’ve got for Mario, but you know I’ll have half a pound of Oscar Meyer on hand.)

For Myles Turner or Kevon Looney

lloney

Do not drink for Myles Turner or Kevon Looney. If you want your team to draft either of them, maybe stop drinking for a while.

***

And that covers it. Enjoy your drinks.

Shane McNichol is the founder, editor, and writer at PalestraBack.com. He has also contributed to SALTMoney.org and ESPN.com. Follow him on Twitter @OnTheShaneTrain.

If you have any suggestions, tips, ideas, or questions, email them to palestraback@gmail.com

One thought on “Update: How To Celebrate the NBA Draft, Responsibly

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s