30 Second Timeout: The Definitive Ranking of Steve Smiths

Who’s your favorite person named LeBron James? Is it the one who plays for the Cavaliers? Yeah, me too.

Who’s your favorite Peyton Manning? The Broncos quarterback? Yeah, same.

These are easy. Other names are not. Adam Scott or Adam Scott? Not as simple. The best example of this might be due to a weird phenomenon of famous men named “Steve Smith”. To settle the never-ending debate, here is a ranking of all of those men.

1. Steve Smith Sr. (Ravens Wide Receiver)

Cincinnati Bengals v Baltimore Ravens

Easy choice. This Steve Smith is the Cadillac of Steve Smiths. He’s created so many memorable moments.

steve sr 2

steve sr 1

steve row

And of course, there was the “blood and guts everywhere” quote. And just last week, he said this:

But the classic is, and always will be:

2. Steve Smith (former NBA swingman)

Steve Smith

I’m going to do my best to not spend the next 5,000 words talking about those Hawks uniforms. Woof.

Anyway, I like this Steve Smith. Played for 5 teams. Averaged 14 points per game for his career, including a few years over 20. He’s a good Steve Smith.

3. Steve Smith (former NFL wide receiver)

Steve Smith

Everyone’s second favorite wide receiver Steve Smith comes in at number 3. Remember him? He made a Pro Bowl! It was such a big deal when he left New York for the Eagles, but then he only caught 11 balls and injuries forced him to retire. His brother, Malcolm, was Super Bowl MVP last year. That’s a fun fact right there.

4. Steve Smith Jr. (Son of Ravens WR Steve Smith Sr.)ByN8INeCAAEICw6 (1)

This is a bold ranking for such a youngster, but he’s off to a hot start and he’s got a lot to live up to. Have we heard from this Steve Smith in his young life?

Alright, then. Ice up, son. Let’s move on.

5. Steven Smith (former LaSalle University basketball player)


Had a nice career at LaSalle. Averaged 0.6 points and 0.8 rebounds in a short NBA career.

6. Steve Smith (character on American Dad)


Can’t say I’ve ever really watched this show. I’m running out of Steve Smiths.

7(tie). Every other Steven/Stephen/Steve Smith Ever

8. Stephen A. Smith


There’s really nowhere to being with Stephen A. First Take is the worst hour on television, which is saying something. His comments about Ray Rice were ridiculous. His need to scream all of his thoughts is utterly off-putting.

I’m just glad that we’ve gotten to a point where he’s avoidable if you try hard enough. Don’t watch First Take. Don’t follow him on Twitter. If he comes on SportsCenter, change the channel.

He’s the worst Steve Smith.

Shane McNichol is the founder, editor, and lone contributor to PalestraBack.com. Follow him on Twitter @OnTheShaneTrain.

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